Do you agree or disagree: The world is busy and crowded, we should not expect people to be polite to others.
【譯文】
你同意還是不同意:世界是忙碌而擁擠的,我們不應該期望人們對別人有禮貌。
【解析】
規范的寫作布局是托福寫作沖刺高分最為基礎的一個環節,而文章的新意更多是來自于文章觀點的新穎。
想要寫出一個有新意的觀點,平時需要多思考多積累,原班套用范文或是模板的內容,自然是無法提起閱卷人的興趣。
但是,大家也不必過于深究觀點的對錯,畢竟托福獨立寫作主要還是考查童鞋們對于話題的論述是否流暢清晰。有了原創的觀點,自然就不用擔心觀點會出現雷同的問題了。
這里還需要提醒大家,不要過于糾結觀點的深度,觀點定位過深,一時之間不能找到論據,導致無話可說,反而會適得其反。
People today enjoy great material wealth due to hardwork, but some complain that people today are less polite than they used to be. Extremists argue that people do not need to have the conventional social norms, such as saying hello to other people, because those manners are a waste of time. However, I think politeness is important in many aspects of modern life.
【譯文】
今天的人們因為努力工作而享受著巨大的物質財富,但也有人抱怨今天的人們不像以前那么有禮貌了。極端主義者認為,人們不需要有傳統的社會規范,比如向他人打招呼,因為這些行為是在浪費時間。然而,我認為禮貌在現代生活的許多方面都很重要。
【解析】
對于托福獨立寫作來說,規范的寫作布局是寶寶們的基礎工作。五段三點式的文章結構,永遠是托福獨立寫作的主線脈絡。對于這類觀點選擇類型的獨立寫作來說,首段清晰明了的表達自己的觀點,切記模棱兩可,搖擺不定。
First, in dealing relationships with family and friend, people need to be polite and considerate. Many young people today claim that they are too busy to call their parents and contact their friends. Once, I refused to spend time talking with parents, using the excuse that I had too much work. The consequence was that my mother got angry and hung up the phone. Our relationship was strained, but I soon realized my rudeness and apologized to my mother. My mother forgave me because I showed my respect and concern for her. This situation is also true for friends. Politeness is a bond in relationships with close family members and friends.
【譯文】
首先,在處理與家人和朋友的關系時,人們需要有禮貌和體貼。今天許多年輕人聲稱他們太忙了,不能打電話給父母,聯系他們的朋友。有一次,我拒絕花時間和父母交談,借口說我有太多的工作要做。結果是我媽媽生氣了,掛了電話。我們的關系很緊張,但我很快意識到我的無禮,并向我母親道歉。我母親原諒了我,因為我對她表示了尊敬和關心。這種情況也適用于朋友。禮貌是與親密的家庭成員和朋友之間的關系。
【解析】
中間段落的文章結構是Transitional words + topic sentence +development。如果考生在平時能熟練運用這樣一個結構來展開作文,那么考場上就會憑借這份思維定勢來幫助自己抓住每一分。
Transitional words主要有以下三種:
1.表順序:firstly, secondly, finally /last but not least;(本文就是選擇了這種連接詞)
2.表并列:besides, in addition;
3.表對比:in contrast, in comparison。
這些銜接詞會讓文章看起來脈絡清晰,組織嚴密,也就做到了評分標準中的“well-organized”一條。
Second, in a working environment, one needs to obey the basic social norms of courtesy for interpersonal communication. Consider a rude colleague who is always short and unpleasant with his coworkers. Not many people are willing to work with him, because he does not show any basic skills or ability to deal with people. On the contrary, a coworker who smiles and acts respectfully towards others will certainly be more popular and easier to work with. Obviously, politeness will never be outdated, no matter how busy the world becomes.
【譯文】
其次,在工作環境中,人們需要遵守人際交往的基本社會規范。想想一個粗魯的同事,他總是和同事們很矮,很不愉快。沒有多少人愿意和他一起工作,因為他沒有表現出任何基本的技能或能力去對付別人。相反,一個微笑并尊重他人的同事肯定會更受歡迎,也更容易共事。顯然,無論世界變得多么繁忙,禮貌都不會過時。
【解析】
在托福獨立寫作中,全新的例證內容是文章的點睛之筆。相信很多同學在備考過程中會不斷地積累一些新的例證資料,新的例證搭配新穎的觀點,會讓你的作文在千百人中脫穎而出。上段作者舉了自己與母親的例子,本段又例舉了工作中的例子,結合自己的工作生活,使得文章更具有說服力。
Third, in the political realm and entertainment industry, celebrities need to show a gracious and friendly manner in order to maintain a positive image. All politicians have a hectic agenda. But when they are giving a speech to the public, politicians need to dress appropriately and speak in a certain way. Patience when answering questions is also a must. Similarly, a famous movie star or a pop singer needs to show a friendly attitude towards any crazy fan. Otherwise, the printing media will make a big deal out of his/her unappreciative manner towards fans.
【譯文】
第三,在政治領域和娛樂產業中,名人需要表現出親切友好的態度,以保持積極的形象。所有的政客都會議程繁忙。但是,當他們在向公眾發表演講時,政治家們需要適當地著裝,并以某種方式說話。回答問題時的耐心也是必須的。同樣,一個著名的電影明星或流行歌手需要對任何狂熱的粉絲表現出友好的態度。否則,媒體就會大肆宣揚他/她對粉絲的無禮之舉。
【解析】
很多同學在看到“polite”這個字眼就會陷入一種思維定式,那就從日常生活文明現象等方面來舉例子,試想,閱卷者閱讀成千上萬個類似例證的文章難免會出現審美疲勞,這時,新穎的例證往往可以抓人眼球。可以看到,這位同學跳脫出慣常思維,以政客、明星的表現作為論據,呈現了文明禮貌對于不同職業的人來說具有同樣的重要性,這樣的“另類”分析可以說是十分吸睛了!
In conclusion, though the world today drives people to work like machines, politeness is a prerequisite for people to have a satisfying home life and a fulfilling career.
【譯文】
總之,盡管當今世界驅使人們像機器一樣工作,但禮貌是人們擁有令人滿意的家庭生活和令人滿意的職業的先決條件。
【解析】
文章的結尾段,總結自己的觀點,首尾呼應。總之,在托福獨立寫作中,文章的規范布局是基礎。但是,想要沖刺托福獨立寫作的高分,還需要在規范布局之外尋找寫作的新意,這是大家的重要著力點!
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