很多剛?cè)腴T的同學(xué)都迷茫托福寫作應(yīng)該怎么開始練,小編為大家請來了經(jīng)驗豐富的老師,詳細解讀如何從托福寫作的得分要點入手,修改出一篇好文章。
TOEFL寫作考試形式
托福寫作考試分為兩個部分:
1. 綜合寫作(Integrated Writing):閱讀一段230-300 words的文段,要求3mins內(nèi)完成,然后聽一段230-300 words 的聽力。完成后,給20 mins寫一篇200-300 words的文章,要求闡述閱讀、聽力內(nèi)容以及兩者之間的關(guān)系。
2. 獨立寫作(Independent Writing):給30 mins 要求完成一篇300 words以上的文章。題目為特定題庫。
TOEFL寫作考試要求
筆者結(jié)合多年教學(xué)經(jīng)驗、官方要求、以及數(shù)千篇文章批改經(jīng)驗,總結(jié)羅列出托福寫作考試的得分要點如下:
1. 有效地應(yīng)答任務(wù);
2. 語言使用熟練,無過多語法、拼寫和標(biāo)點使用錯誤;
3. 組織結(jié)構(gòu)好,展開話題完善;
4. 使用解釋,舉例等論證方法;
5. 有效地進行文字處理,整合與遞進;
6. 語法具有多樣性;
7. 用詞合理并且地道。
上述7點能做到1,2的同學(xué),寫作基本達標(biāo),可以拿到一個15-20分的成績;
上述7點能做到1,2,3,4,5的同學(xué),寫作水平較好,可以獲得21-25分的成績;
上述7點全部做到的同學(xué),可以或得26分以上直至滿分的分數(shù)。
TOEFL作文修改實戰(zhàn)
下面一段文字是我的學(xué)生在TOEFL獨立寫作的一個自然段。在這里給大家逐句從基礎(chǔ)語法方面分析一下,主要解決寫作要求中的第1,2兩個點。這篇習(xí)作的題目是:
People are now easier to become educated than in the past.
①First, people in now would have a better education because there are more teachers than the past.②This can largely decide how students be educated.③For example, in the past, it is common that one teacher teach many subjects like math, Chinese, English and so on.④Now however, in one school there are many teachers who teach one subject.⑤In this way, it can develop the quality of the teaching section and the practice part.⑥Think about it, if a teacher teaches 8 classes, and he has to correct the homework every day, how well he can perform when he works on the last part of homework.⑦In contrast if the teacher only need to correct homework from 2 classes, how well can he do?⑧There are still many examples for this.⑨From the example, we can clearly see that how can the number of teachers decide the quality of education.
逐句修改:
①“now”前面是不用介詞進行修飾的,因此需要去掉“in”.
同時原因狀語從句中的“than”比較雙方也是不對稱的。這里有2種改動方法,其一將比較對稱,其二進行邏輯變換。所以,單純從語法角度講,筆者認為改成下面的表述會更好一些。
First, people now would have a better education because there are fewer teachers in the past.
②第二句中的“be”不符合從句語法規(guī)則,應(yīng)改成are。
同時,這個決定作者更傾向于描述教育的優(yōu)劣,而非方式,所以仔細分析,其實原文并沒有表述清楚。因此,第二句表述為:This can largely decide how well students are educated.
③“in the past”與“is”矛盾,需要修改。另外,“in the past”的位置也是值得商榷的。同時“teach”的語法還有爭議,建議使用“would”,可避免麻煩。
另,筆者在美國的老師經(jīng)常告訴筆者,英美人士不經(jīng)常在essay中使用and so on等口語用詞。
綜上,第三句改為:For example, it was common that one teacher would teach many subjects like math, Chinese and English in the past.
④本句錯誤有兩個,其一是詞語在句子中的位置不符合英文造句法,這是最嚴(yán)重的,而且也是第③句中出現(xiàn)的問題。另外,用詞重復(fù)上句的用詞,應(yīng)予調(diào)換。
⑤第五句的銜接方式如①和②兩句,如能改變連接方式,句式則會體現(xiàn)變化性。
綜上,第四句和第五句改為:
However, there are many teachers focusing on one subject, which can develop the quality of the teaching section and the practice part.
⑥顯然,由于第六句內(nèi)容較多,學(xué)生沒有控制住句子,致使第六句出現(xiàn)致命的多謂語現(xiàn)象。
既然無法用復(fù)合句表達,就要果斷的將句子斷開。
另外,就筆者經(jīng)驗而言,賓語從句中特殊疑問詞的表述具有主觀情緒,建議變換成客觀描述性語句。綜上,第六句拆解為:
A case in point is a teacher teaching 8 classes. He has to correct the homework every day, and would not perform as good as the first assignment he corrected.
⑦仍然是句式變話的問題。
其二,介詞短語后面的標(biāo)點也要注意,盡管不是必須的。
筆者調(diào)整為:
In contrast, if the teacher only needs to work for 2 classes, he might possibly comment concretely and exactly the students’ homework.
⑧無誤。
⑨介詞短語可以添加“above”。
賓語從句后面應(yīng)為陳述句式。
筆者調(diào)整為: From the example above, we can clearly see that how the number of teachers could decide the quality of education.
修改后的文章呈現(xiàn)為:
First, people now would have a better education because there are fewer teachers in the past. This can largely decide how well students are educated. For example, it was common that one teacher would teach many subjects like math, Chinese and English in the past. However, there are many teachers focusing on one subject now, which can develop the quality of the teaching section and the practice part. A case in point is a teacher teaching 8 classes. He has to correct the homework every day, and would not perform as good as the first assignment he corrected. In contrast, if the teacher only needs to work for 2 classes, he might possibly comment concretely and exactly the students’ homework. There are still many examples for this. From the example above, we can clearly see that how the number of teachers could decide the quality of education.
盡管經(jīng)修改后這個段落尚有很多不足之處,例子的選取、詞語的選擇、連貫性等方面還有待改善,但我認為這樣的文章拿到20分是沒有問題的。希望大家首先朝這個水平努力,按照7點要求,一個點一個點的訓(xùn)練,那么寫作30分就不是問題。
以上就是小班為大家?guī)淼囊徊揭粋€腳印攻克托福寫作的方法,希望能對正在備考的你有所幫助。更多托福精彩內(nèi)容,歡迎持續(xù)關(guān)注牛學(xué)托福頻道。